I really enjoyed this book. It not only discusses the struggles of a drug addict, but the struggles we have as humans. This memoir resonated with me, and I think it will you too. In short, this should be a must read on everyone's list. It says and shows so many things that people deal with, and I found it to be a inciteful telling of what it's like to live.
This book is a memoir by Nic Sheff. He goes through many traumatic things in which he constantly rejects as being bad or harmful. He writes form the start of the book, "So I just started smoking some pot and what harm could that do me anyway? H***, my dad used to smoke pot. Most everyone in my family did. Our friends did - it was totally accepted. But with me things were different. . .It just affected me in a way that didn't seem normal. . .My friend drank a little bit and stopped, unable to take anymore. The thing was I couldn't stop." We all do the same thing. We choose our own reality; most of the time at our own expense. And unfortunately, sometimes we feel as if we really can't stop.
Sheff also expresses the guilt, the unworthiness, and the debilitating insecurities we all have. This is the thing about the book that makes it feel so vulnerable and, therefore, human. He expresses his disgust of his outer appearance, as well as his inner feelings, and his mistakes. He says, "I was ashamed of my behavior, but still I kept going forward. It was like being in a car with the gas pedal slammed to the floor and nothing to do but hold on and pretend to have some semblance of control. But control was something I'd lost a long time ago." He gets himself to the point where he feels as if he can't turn around. He can't get out of the hole he has dug. He can't change or maybe he just doesn't want to. We all do this to ourselves, which is both of worthy of screaming and crying. The frustration that plagues all of us for simply being who we are, which always seems to be inadequate.
The most eye opening thing about this book was the revelation of how we make ourselves feel better. The ways we try and make ourselves feel like enough was astounding. In the end we all just wanna be "somebody." Don't we? With social media and television being thrown at us every freaking day of our lives, it gets really easy to start believing in the lies of fame and fortune. The superficial, narcissistic images of "the perfect life" is great isn't it? It might be if it was REAL. We need to start implementing ideas of what happiness truly is to our children. We tell our kids that in order to be "something" they have to make a lot of money, be super popular, or get perfect grades so they can go to the perfect college and get the perfect job. It's so fake. Anyway, I'm ranting. My apologies. But honestly, Sheff discusses all these problems too. He talks about how fame, popularity, and people's opinions have always influenced his thoughts and actions. He pursues a very toxic relationship because it makes him feel like he's something. But, then again we all do it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book because it delves into the problems we all have, while also telling about what it's like to be a drug addict. Sheff without a doubt breaks down the walls and the stigma of being a drug addict. In conclusion, we all have the same basic personal struggles; the only difference being how we handle them. The funny thing is that we put some of the coping mechanisms into a box labeled bad, which they are, but so are the "milder" ones too. The shame we plaster on people make it ten times harder for them to try to do something different. The entire time it feels like the world is falling apart we're all still right here stuck together whether we like or not. We're all still just humans trying. That's it. Trying. Sometimes that's all it takes.
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