Love? What is this thing that people have written about, sang about, talked about, and experienced? Is it an emotion or a feeling? An action? Is it a phenomenon? What is this thing that everyone wants, but doesn't actually know what it is?
Let's face it: we hear people all the time saying that love is the remedy to the world's problems blah blah blah etc. Yet, with all preaching we don't even know what we need; we don't know what love is. I think we once knew what it was, but got lost in all the commotion. We don't take time to understand what it is; we just regurgitate what somebody else says until it spirals beyond control, and we get caught up in our own mess; in our own lies. Wow, that was depressing. Anyway, I digress. So, on to the point, what is love?
Personally, I think that pure, real, true love is out of human reach. I know what some of you are thinking, and you don't have to agree with me. So, chill out. Anyway, I believe this because I look around and see how wrong things are. I know there's something missing, and I really do think love is the solution. I think it's the something missing in the world. How can we get love? I don't know, but I think a lot of people try to find it in the wrong places, which leads to more and more problems. To clarify, I'm not saying that humans can't love or can't find it. I just think that we can only see and only express a pitifully small fraction of what love is. We can see it between parents and their children, between siblings, between husband and wife, and between friends. I believe that our happiest moments are miniscule compared to true love.
Now, as far as worldly love goes, I previously stated that obviously we can experience love. It just seems like such a blurry thing nowadays. I think this is unclearness happens because we have so many different definitions of what the flipping thing is. Some say that love is nothing more than hormones and neurotransmitters. Just something that happens to get humans to reproduce. I don't believe these claims, because we are more than a bunch of chemicals walking around; we are not an accident. Moving on. On a totally different hand, we're told that love is sex and superficial crap and, well, yeah. That's about it. Okay, this assertion is just sad, but it's what American culture is telling us.
So, if love is just a bunch of things happening to our bodies, simply a need that is there to ensure our reproduction, and something to give us pleasure, then we're all set, right? No. We are not, because these ideas are the ones that seem to be wrecking humanity and tearing people apart.
Firstly, let's talk about whether love is an emotion or not. I feel that it is, because we feel it. I think it is also an action, meaning things like doing chores for someone or taking someone out to eat to show you care. As long as it's to show you care. It's never a substitution for the caring part of the relationship. That's the line; keep it there. I do think it is a phenomenon. (FYI, Oxford Dictionary defines this word as "1) a fact or situation that is observed to exist or happen, especially one whose cause or explanation is in question. 2) a remarkable person, thing, or event.") From this definition, yes, indeed love is very much a phenomenon. Honestly, this is a hard talk without getting philosophical. I neither want to go through that nor put other people through that. Anyway, we are going to assume it is an emotion.
Secondly, by accepting these perspectives, we are degrading ourselves. We are devaluing human lives, because if emotions are simply chemicals in our brains changing or interacting, then what I'm feeling is nothing; it's not that big of a deal. People have done a heck of a good job of making serious things seem trivial or fake. As a result, we get a load of unhappy people and a ton of very confused young adults.
Thirdly, if we're sending the message that love is no big deal, then pretty soon it's all about sex, pleasure, and superficiality. Love used to be something sacred; it used to be special and shared. Now people just don't care, because it's "all about me," which pretty much makes everyone feel like no one cares. Great job everyone. Anyway, this self-centeredness and selfishness (self-love or hate) causes people to not want to keep any of their responsibilities: teens don't want to be adults, adults don't want to go to work, kids don't want to obey, parents don't want to be parents etc. That was a very sad list, but it's a part of the reason why everyone feels like love is a myth or a fairytale, because after so long people start to become cynical, and they doubt if love even exists. When the focus is on me me me, then relationships are lost, because in a happy, healthy relationship each person has to give something up to make the other person happy. This is clearly isn't being put into practice in today's world. People refuse to give up what they want, and, in the end, they get up hurt, because they tried to replace that bond with something else. The sad thing is that they still didn't get what they want. As a result, people start to look for gratification and connection somewhere else, through toxic relationships, porn, likes on social media, education, drugs, alcohol, peers, and in so many more instances in life. We want to be something and we want to be validated and we want to be loved. I don't care if you want to admit it or not, because you know it's true. In short, telling people that love doesn't matter results in them saying "what does it matter if I do this or not?" It leaves people feeling empty; it leads to empty relationships and empty lives.
All of the confusion is a result of two messages: one that says love is nothing, and another that says I am the most important thing.
I encourage you to look around in your life and see how your relationships are. Are they healthy? Do you have meaningful relationships? If not, What can you do to change that?
How do you perceive love, and how does that affect your relationships?
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